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Originally Posted On: https://startwithvalues.com/dont-set-new-years-resolutions-start-with-values-instead/
Don’t Set New Year’s Resolutions: Start With Values Instead
New Year’s resolutions are a tradition. We declare grand plans to improve our lives, hoping that a new year will somehow gift us new discipline. But here’s the reality: New Year’s resolutions are almost destined to fail. On December 31st, before you commit to another year of lofty promises, pause. This year, consider a different path. A path grounded in who you truly are, not just who you hope to be.
Why Do New Year’s Resolutions Fail?
Resolutions are fragile. Research shows that 80% of resolutions fail by February 1st. Even more striking, only 9% of people achieve their resolutions by year-end. Why such dismal numbers?
Most resolutions are based on aspirations, not reality. They represent the person we wish we were, not the person we are today. For those already stretched thin, setting even more ambitious goals can backfire. Instead of motivating us, they add pressure and lead to frustration.
Resolutions often lack context. They focus on an outcome without addressing why that outcome matters. They are goals without a compass.
Is There a Better Way to Begin the New Year?
Yes. Instead of setting resolutions, start where you are. Begin by reflecting on your values—the principles that truly matter to you.
Values are the foundation of a fulfilling life. Unlike resolutions, which are focused on specific outcomes, values guide how you live. They shape your decisions, actions, and reactions. When you live by your values, you’re not just chasing goals; you’re aligning your life with what genuinely matters.
In my book, Start With Values, I describe this process as being an “archaeologist of yourself.” You dig deep to uncover the core principles that drive you. Once you find these values, you can polish them, wear them proudly, and use them to guide your path.
Why Are Values More Effective Than Resolutions?
When you know your values, you:
- Act with clarity: Decisions become simpler because your values guide you.
- Feel more fulfilled: Your actions are aligned with what brings you joy and meaning.
- Unlock your potential: Instead of setting goals that feel like a burden, you focus on what genuinely matters.
Resolutions can feel like external demands, while values come from within. They’re intrinsic, meaningful, and adaptable.
If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll never get there. You might arrive somewhere, but it may not be where you longed to be. Life can feel like a rehearsal. Yet, time keeps moving. There are no second takes. This is the show. This is the main event.
Living by your values ensures you’re not just drifting—you’re choosing your path with intention.
How Do You Discover Your Values?
Start by asking yourself:
- What truly matters to me?
- What brings me joy and fulfillment?
- What principles guide my best decisions?
Reflect deeply. Think about the moments when you felt most alive, most aligned, most “you.” Those moments often point to your core values. For a deeper process and worksheet, check out the full values discovery process.
What Types of Values Might You Identify?
Values tend to fall into a few broad categories, as defined in the Values Pyramid:
- Belonging Values: These include family, friendships, love, and community. They reflect a need for connection and support.
- Growth Values: These focus on personal development, like physical fitness, learning, curiosity, and mental resilience.
- Impact Values: These are about achievement and influence, such as mastery, autonomy, reputation, and wealth.
- Fulfillment Values: These relate to deeper meaning, including wisdom, peace, awe, and altruism.
See also Quotes about Values
To get started, identify three core values that resonate with you. For example, your values might be kindness, learning, and peace. Someone else’s might be family, fitness, and wealth. There’s no right or wrong. These values are your personal compass.
Can Values Change Over Time?
Absolutely. Life changes, and so do we. Your values can shift dramatically overnight, like when you become a parent. Or they can evolve slowly, as you climb the career ladder or enter midlife. This is natural. The key is to stay aware and recalibrate when needed.
Regular reflection ensures your values remain relevant. Don’t cling to values that no longer serve you.
How Do You Apply Your Values in Daily Life?
Once you know your values, use them as lenses through which to view your challenges and opportunities. When facing a decision, ask yourself:
- Can I be kind in this situation?
- Am I learning something here?
- Does this bring me peace?
The more you use your values to guide your actions, the more natural it becomes. Over time, your values shape your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. You begin to live a values-aligned life.
When adversity strikes, your values become anchors. They help you navigate uncertainty with greater ease and clarity. This approach aligns with frameworks like acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), which emphasizes values-based action to improve psychological flexibility.
What About Junk Values?
Sometimes, old or unhelpful values cling to us. These “junk values” often revolve around comfort, reputation, or avoiding discomfort. They can lead to bad habits and decisions that no longer serve you.
Perform a junk values audit. Reflect on the habits and desires that might be holding you back. Are they tied to outdated values? Letting go of these can be liberating.
Make 2025 About What Really Matters
This December 31st, skip the resolutions. Instead, spend time reflecting on your values. Start with what matters most. Let your values guide your actions, shape your decisions, and unlock your potential.
If you want a structured approach to discovering and applying your values, check out my book, Start With Values. It will walk you through the process, step-by-step, and help you gain clarity for the year ahead.
Live by your values, and the path forward becomes clearer than any resolution could ever offer
