Happy Valentine's Day. That feeling in your heart is Cupid's arrow and definitely not from a vaccine. Who knows? You'll be dead by then. But we got a Valentine's Day card from a very important person today. And it's our favorite VP. Take it away, Kamala.
[SKIT]
FAKE KAMALA HARRIS: Hey Valentine, there's a time to celebrate Valentine's Day. And that time is now, for celebrating. Because it's the time. Love, Kamala.
How sweet of her. I think she sent a few. Here's another.
[SKIT]
FAKE KAMALA HARRIS: Hey Valentine, thanks for the candy. But I would have preferred a Venn diagram and a yellow school bus you could see with your own eyes. Love, Kamala.
Last one.
[SKIT]
FAKE KAMALA HARRIS: Hey, Valentine. Love, Kamala.
She's a delight. Alright, let's talk about Mayor Pete. You know the guy. Oh wow, rush to judgment here. The guy with the round head, goofy face, flappy ears. You see him and keep wondering where to insert the batteries. Yeah, obviously, he's Transportation Secretary when he's not home on paternity leave, pumping out breast milk. But he's the mediocre mayor who's never around when you need him. You've heard about the train derailment outside East Palestine, Ohio. If you haven't, here's a recap.
GREG GUTFELD: WE'RE LOCKING UP DEODORANT INSTEAD OF THE PEOPLE STEALING IT
[VIDEO]
BILL HEMMER: Insane video out of East Palestine, a small town in eastern Ohio near the PA border. A freight train carrying hazardous material crashed and burst into flames on Friday night. It's still a problem. Residents within a one-mile radius ordered to evacuate last night. The mayor there declaring a state of emergency.
Excellent recap, Bill. His briefs are amazing. So that happened a week and a half ago. Thousands of gallons of toxins spilled. Worse than an episode of :The View." Here's a list of what came out. It's pretty scary. Is that the recipe for lethal injection or what's in Jesse Waters' hair? Bottom line, like female drivers, that **** can kill you. I thought I could slip that one in. But when combined, it's a gas so noxious, even Eric Swalwell would demand you crack a window.
Animals falling sick and dying, people reporting sudden headaches, burning sensations in their eyes. Sounds like Eagles fans after the Super Bowl. Thousands had to be evacuated and a controlled burn of the toxins was done last week. So, you know, it's bad when the best option is "Let's set this **** on fire and hope for the best." According to one hazardous materials specialist, they nuked the town to get a railroad open, which seems like a hell of a decision to make. That's like cutting off your whole arm because, you once shook hands with Brian Kilmeade.
So you think the Transportation Secretary would have been on the case ASAP? No, it wasn't until last night that he said something, ten days later, tweeting that he continues to be "concerned" about the families impacted and that the EPA is monitoring the air quality. That sounds like real concern. All he left out was "Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line." Such a robot. And while this was going on, what was he talking about instead? This ********.
[VIDEO]
PETE BUTTIGIEG: We have heard way too many stories from generations past of infrastructure where you've got a neighborhood, often a neighborhood of color, that finally sees the project come to them. But everyone in the hardhats on that project looking like, doing the good paying jobs, don't look like they came from anywhere near the neighborhood.
You got that? Too many construction workers are white. Except he doesn't even have the balls to even say the word "white." Dude, if that bothers you so much, why not give your job to a Black guy? We all we know it would be a guaranteed improvement. There you go. Tyrus is in.
So instead of addressing how the Ohio derailment will affect the nearby town, businesses, farmers and supply chain, he's talking race. It's another example of chasing a non-problem at the expense of real problems. Yes, we have a shortage of pilots and planes are experiencing near misses, but at least the flight attendants' uniforms are nonbinary. Sure, mystery objects violate our airspace and trains are derailing. But the real problem is the lack of diversity of those hard hats wolf whistling at women while scratching their balls outside a porta potty.
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Although, I bet Pete couldn't find one person who ever complained about a construction worker's skin color. Of course, a few more chemical clouds and all the workers will be the same color: green and gray. Wokeism seems to me the real toxic spill, infecting everything, ignoring problems and offering no solutions. He also made this dumb joke.
[VIDEO]
PETE BUTTIGIEG: It's had its challenges. I mean, if you look at what the American transportation systems have faced in the last two or three years. Partly because of the pandemic, we've faced issues from container shipping to airline cancellations. And now we've got balloons.
Stick to your day job, pal, even if it's as fake as your bicycle commute. You think he'd realize a conference on infrastructure would be a good time to address this ****. Is he even aware there were also two more derailments on Monday, or that more than a dozen have derailed this year? That's not counting the ones from Amtrak when they gave Joe the keys, but Pete's nowhere to be found. Remember the flight out of Hawaii that nearly plunged into the ocean? Happened in December, but now we hear about it. Turns out "aloha" means "hello, farewell and kiss your macadamia nuts goodbye". Every time there's an emergency, Pete turns into Amelia Earhart. He vanishes faster than massage oil in Larry Kudlow's apartment.
Hell, even Ilhan Omar is calling out Pete saying, "We need Congressional inquiry and direct action from Pete Buttigieg to address this tragedy." Hell, I'm starting to like her. Although, Omar, if you yellow brother, it shouldn't be in the bedroom. It's a turn of phrase.
It's still nuts this guy got this job. But like so many other bad leaders, he ticked the right box for the Dems and it's never the one mark: competence. It's identity politics at its worst, and we all pay the price. He faked riding a bike, then showed up in an SUV. A military plane flew his husband to their European vacation and now he acts like a derailment and chemical spill is someone else's problem. You know, I'm thinking the best day for America's transportation will be when Mayor Pete gets run out of town on a rail.
