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Coping with Mother's Day after your mom has passed: Ways to still celebrate or keep to yourself

Mother's Day can be a challenging one for those who have lost that person in their life. There are many ways to cope and still celebrate the holiday.

Mother’s Day can be an extremely tolling holiday if you've experience the loss of your mom. 

Everybody copes differently. 

While some may choose to celebrate their mother in spirit, others might hope to avoid it completely. 

Whichever way you choose to spend the day is of course up to you. 

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Here are a few ways to cope with Mother’s Day after your mom has passed. 

On Mother's Day, and every day you need following her passing, give yourself grace. Remember that your feelings are valid and give yourself space to feel them. 

If you don't think you're ready to talk about the passing of your mom, you don’t have to. If you don’t want to acknowledge the day just yet, you don't have to, either.

On the flip side, if it helps to recall memories, share stories and celebrate her, feel free to do so.

Grieving is a complicated process, and the time you take to acknowledge your grief and find ways to cope should feel right to you.

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It may feel therapeutic to still purchase and write your mom a Mother’s Day card. You may find that writing a card to your mom can provide comfort. 

You can put this card on display in your home, keep it to yourself or leave it with her at her burial site. 

You can also celebrate her by purchasing her favorite flowers and placing them on display where you'll pass them often. Then, you will be reminded of her every time you walk by and notice them.

Also, consider planting her favorite flowers in your yard. Mother’s Day is in the spring, which is a great time for planting. Pick up her favorite flower, as a seed or as a starter plant, and watch it grow big and beautiful. 

This will give you something in her memory to take care of every day.

It can be tough scrolling through social media and seeing your feed flooded with Mother’s Day messages. If you know this is going to be troublesome for you, avoid social media for the day. 

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You'll likely recall memories of your mom on Mother's Day with the people that knew her best whether it be your dad, siblings, her siblings or other family and friends. 

If you know it is going to be rough for you to spend the day alone, host a brunch in her honor. You can invite siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends and anyone else you hope to spend time with that can bring her back in spirit.

Take this time to get together with family and revisit everyone's fondest memories of your mom. You might even hear a new story or two from before you were around. Allow tears to be shed and joy and laughter to be shared.

A brunch is also the perfect way to celebrate the other important women in your life like your grandmother or your aunts. 

Make your way to some of you mom's favorite places, enjoy an activity the two of you used to do together or drink her favorite coffee or tea. If you have kids of your own, incorporate them into the fun as well.

Maybe you'll choose to dance around to the music she liked, cook some of her favorite meals or begin incorporating traditions she had with your own little family.

While we live in a digital world, print photos have become less popular in recent years. That being said, photo albums can be truly beautiful and a wonderful way to soak in a lifetime of memories. 

Go through your phone and other devices to look for pictures of your mom. If you have any already printed photos, include those in your album too.

Once you’ve got all your pictures together, put them in a photo album that you can continue to look through and add to each Mother’s Day. 

Make as many albums as you'd like to. Fill them to the edges and include fun sayings she always said, dates, names, etc.

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Photography by Christophe Tomatis
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