Before Meghan Markle ever walked into Prince Harry’s life, the struggling spare had wondered what his life could be like beyond palace walls.
In a resurfaced interview with author Angela Levin, the Duke of Sussex spoke candidly about his desire for an "ordinary life." His thoughts were shared in Levin’s 2017 column for the U.K.’s Daily Mail as well as her 2018 book, "Harry: A Biography of a Prince."
"I spent many years kicking my heels, and I didn’t want to grow up," the now-38-year-old told Levin. "I felt I wanted out but then decided to stay in and work out a role for myself."
British royals expert Hilary Fordwich told Fox News Digital it’s likely Harry would have attempted to escape the pressures of being a "spare" beyond his home country whether the former American actress was in the picture or not.
"Harry most likely would have left the royal family regardless of Meghan," she said, noting that the British prince had thought about laying down roots in Africa.
"It has often been alleged that Harry felt the pressures of being a member of the royal family," royal commentator Ian Pelham Turner told Fox News Digital. "[He suspected that] trying to find his partner in life would be very difficult. … I believe Meghan understood the pressures of prestige celebrity status. [I also believe] the pair thought they could weather any storms and carve out their niche role whilst seeking a compromise between living in U.K. and America."
"This was not to be, and in the process of trying to develop their unique style, there was no compromise in the strict royal regime," he added.
Harry told Levin that he was "determined to have a relatively normal life" while admitting he hoped to be lucky enough to have children in the future.
He also recalled what it was like walking behind his mother’s coffin during her funeral in 1997.
"I don’t think any child should be asked to do that under any circumstances," said Harry. "It certainly wouldn’t happen today."
The British author previously told Fox News Digital that some of the happiest days of Harry's life were when he was in the army – not in the palace. According to the royal family’s website, Harry served in the army for 10 years, rising to the rank of captain and serving two tours of Afghanistan.
"He said to me that he was the happiest in the army because he was just Capt. Wales," said Levin. "He wasn’t Prince Harry. He loved being out in Afghanistan. He was brought back because someone leaked that he was there, and it became too dangerous for him and the soldiers."
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The prince also told Levin he was devastated after his position in the army was leaked by the press. He had to be quickly withdrawn due to security reasons.
"I felt very resentful," Harry said. "Being in the army was the best escape I’ve ever had. I felt as though I was really achieving something. I had a deep understanding of all sorts of people from different backgrounds and felt I was part of a team. I wasn’t a prince; I was just Harry."
Royal expert Shannon Felton Spence told Fox News Digital that Harry yearned from the freedom he felt while being in the army where he found a sense of purpose.
"I don’t think it was ever as explicit as he wanted to leave," she said. "That just didn’t seem like an available option. One of the reasons he loved serving in the army, doing tours of Afghanistan, was that it gave him an opportunity to be outside the institution and to establish a life that really had very little to do with the role that he was born into. He knew he craved that feeling and that independence, but leaving didn’t seem like an option until he met someone that showed him the path."
Christopher Andersen, author of "The King," told Fox News Digital that Markle encouraged Harry to seek out a new life for himself.
The 41-year-old became the Duchess of Sussex when she married the prince in 2018. The couple made their royal exit, which was coined "Megxit" by the press, in 2020. They moved to North America.
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"It's true that Harry struggled with his assigned role as ‘the spare’ and for a time actively considered exiting his role as a full-time working royal," Andersen explained. "He was floundering, but then again, his brother, Prince William, the heir to the throne, also chafed at having every aspect of his life controlled by the palace string-pullers.
"With Kate [Middleton’s] help, William eventually came to terms with the fact that he pretty much had to knuckle under," Andersen said. "Likewise, Meghan exerted considerable influence over Harry – only in the opposite direction. No matter how you slice it, I seriously doubt that Harry would have departed the royal family the way he did if Meghan hadn't entered the picture. Also, to be fair, Meghan faced so much more pressure than Kate – including racist attacks in the press. It's no wonder the Sussexes felt compelled to remove themselves from a toxic situation."
"Would Harry still be a working royal living full-time in London if he hadn't married Meghan? Of course. But would he be happy? Probably not." Andersen added.
"Ultimately, both are very strong-willed characters who felt the only answer was to escape the royal straitjacket," said Pelham Turner. "Being the ‘spare’ meant to strike on into new pastures where they both felt confident to have a simpler and family-friendly lifestyle. Meghan is a strong character who would have given moral support with the decision to move to America. That, in my estimation, gave Harry the determination to move with the times."
The couple cited the U.K. media’s treatment of the biracial duchess as one of the main reasons for their decision to quit royal duties. Since moving to Montecito, California, the pair have detailed their struggles with royal life in televised interviews, a six-part Netflix docuseries, and most recently, the prince’s memoir, "Spare."
In a recent blow, a London judge rejected Harry’s bid to pay for his own police protection, denying the royal’s request to challenge the U.K. government in court.
PRINCE HARRY LOSES LEGAL CHALLENGE TO PAY FOR POLICE PROTECTION WHILE IN THE UK
The British government stopped providing security after the couple quit royal duties. It then rejected his offer to pay for protection whenever he visits the U.K. Harry, now a father of two, said he doesn’t feel safe visiting Britain with his young children.
But while Harry lost the case to pay police to protect him in the U.K., another judge allowed his case to proceed in challenging the decision to deny him government-paid security. The prince has other active legal cases in London courts involving the U.K. press.
"The scale of his unhappiness in the royal family hadn’t been widely appreciated," royal commentator Richard Fitzwilliams told Fox News Digital. "He has also been haunted by the death of his mother and the way that she died. He is also undergoing therapy and seeking a new life in California."
"The problem is that the Sussexes' focus is on past resentments, not on moving on constructively," Fitzwilliams said. "He, however, sees his campaign against media intrusion as constructive. Meghan was undoubtedly the catalyst that led to the change; there seems little doubt this has been a change he has welcomed so far. Who knows, however, where it will lead as the rift with his family is so very deep."
Harry was able to leave the U.K. and escape the pressures that once plagued him, but one question remains for many royal experts: What now?
"The only thing one has control of right now is what you do today, tomorrow and the next day," said Fordwich. "Actions moving forward. One can’t change the past, only the present. But he’s driving looking in the rearview mirror."
